Have you ever had those nights swiping through Instagram and Snapchat stories seeing everyone together and you feel so alone? Me too. (If you have a car) ever drive around as if you have somewhere to go, but just listen to sad music? Me too. How about walking into a room, lunchroom, classroom, party, or gathering and feel as if no one wants you there? Yep… me too.

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I was always excluded from the parties/hangouts/events, I rode on the bus for cheer alone to every game, people would talk about plans in front of my face then never include me, girls made up an almost impressive list of rumors about me. There was one summer throughout all 4 years of high school that I had a friend group. So naturally, I thought something was wrong with me... I tried to change myself, I acted like a different person, changed personalities, dumbed myself down, tried to not look good… I did it all. I felt it was so awful to not fit in with everyone, but girl let me tell ya, speaking from personal experience there is a beautiful gift to those that are pushed out of the mainstream and then choose a different path. As crazy as it sounds, I’m appreciative to all the girls that made countless rumors and pushed me out because it pushed me closer to the Lord, my goals, values, family, and my purpose. There’s no satisfaction and joy in trying to make girls or guys like you. Especially if you stand out, have a different mindset, have different gifts, or have something specifically unique about you. If it makes them feel uncomfortable or gives them the feeling that you’re a threat and/or not the same, they will do whatever they can to bring you to their level. Don’t let them.

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There are a few things that helped me through feeling lonely:

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1) Since I barely had one friend to turn to, I turned to the Lord for friendship. Might sound cliche, but it was the most pivotal and fruitful thing to ever happen to me. I was fully content. It didn’t matter what other people could ever think of me, because I learned and knew whole-heartedly that I was serving the Lord, loving others, and my worth was found in what the Lord says I am worth. With God, you are never alone. According to Psalm 139:7-12, even in the hardest, darkest moments He's right there guiding you. In a world that screams no one cares and no one loves you, you can rest in the fact that the one that created you truly loves you, fully knows you, and is holding your hand through every moment.

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2) My mom and I became extremely close. Instead of going to random birthday parties and sleepovers, my mom brought me to charity events, dinners, banquets, premiers, etc. I learned at a young age how to act like and dress like a lady, how to communicate with adults, how to handle myself in the most proper of settings and so much more. I wasn’t talking about Susie Que hooking up with Brad last night. I was learning, adapting, and soaking in information and the environment. From this, I matured very quickly. Maturity comes from experiences and trials. This alone prepared me for what I never thought I would do. Competing in pageants.

 I decided to compete in Miss Dallas Teen USA in 2020. It was arguably the most influential event of my life as I knew the Lord had led me to it. Honestly, I didn't want to do it at all, but I knew my efforts and obedience were going to be blessed 10 fold. It took a huge step of faith, a ton of hard work, and made me push aside my anxious thoughts and fears. But you know what came from it? THIS, sharing my message, developing a strong platform to speak from, incredible life-long friends with similar mentalities, and essential tools for my life from all the interview training, time management, work ethic, and so much more.

 

Try to start looking for what that might be in your life! A pivotal step of faith or a new path that's outside of your comfort zone that could lead you on a new journey with new people. If there's anything I've learned, you're never stuck. You could be believing the lie that there's nothing you can do, you might feel numb and lethargic to the point you can't make a move, but sometimes a blank canvas is the most beautiful thing to start with. Being at the end of yourself allows for a perfect opportunity for the Lord to use you in unimaginable ways. I believe in co-creating with the Lord. Yes, there is an ordained plan for your life, but you have to put in the effort and step out in faith for it to unfold.

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Here are some examples:

- Working on a passion project (selling clothes, regularly volunteering for a charity or organization - I work with Bochy's Place!)

- Challenge yourself to do something new

- Joining workout classes (a lot of my friends now have come from John Benton's workout studio)

- Acting 

- Jumping back in a sport/joining a club team

- Apply for jobs

- Make a vision board

- Spend time in the word each morning and journal

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If this doesn't sound like something that will work for you, there's peace in just reminding yourself you are enough on your own. Work on loving yourself and being enough for yourself and the rest will work itself out. Plain and simple. You are loved. You were created with a purpose and for a purpose. It might not be clear right now, but don't give in to the lie that you'll be alone forever.

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Girl to girl, you're truly not alone. You're being put through the fire in preparation for what's to come. Hold on tight, it's about to get goooooood. 

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In the meantime, I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to. Find my info in the contact page!

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Shine your light babe. The world needs it.

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Xoxo,

Lan

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landry davis